Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

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February 1, 2014

No pain, no ... no pain is good

This year, everyone in my office was given a gym membership. I wasn’t exactly sure how to take it. What do you do when someone gives you a gym membership? Do you thank them graciously or slap them for the insinuation?

It’s not a pretty sight when I exercise. I’m painfully uncoordinated, graceless and clumsy. Last time I attempted crunches, my daughters almost called 911 because they thought I was having a seizure. Plus, as my sweet children like to say, I break a sweat brushing my teeth. Let’s face it; nobody wants a sweaty clumsy middle-aged woman on a treadmill next to them. Somebody (or maybe a few people) is apt to get hurt.

However, I figured since I had the gym membership, I might as well use it, so I went shopping.

Let me explain. I haven’t been to a gym in a very long time and I had no idea what the dress code was. I had to do a little research. Turned out I needed a whole new wardrobe.

Suited up in my unflattering gym clothes, I went to sign up and have a look around the gym. As I feared, there were a lot of physically fit people hanging out in there. They all seemed to know what they were doing. I didn’t see one person falling off the equipment or rolling on the floor looking like they were having a seizure. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to fit in.

I started by walking around the track. Surely I was less likely to injure myself by walking, right?

Here’s the thing: I cannot put on brand new shoes and walk around a track without securing several blisters. I’m just lucky like that. So after two laps, I was ready to have a seat.

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