Published: May 19, 2008 05:53 pm            

What’s in a name? Ask a Mike

Wandering around the Weird Wide Web the other day, I happened upon the Social Security Administration’s list of most popular baby names and was pleased to see that right up near the top, as usual, was Michael.

That’s my real name, you know, despite what you might have heard from my mother about it being (Something)-For-Brains.

Michael. It’s the name of an archangel, of course — God’s warrior. It’s from the Hebrew, and means “Who is like God?” which really puzzled me when I was a kid. I thought it was weird that my name could also be a question. Hello, my name is Who Is Like God? Redmond. This is my brother, What Time Is Dinner?

And it is a perennial favorite among American parents. In 1953, it was the third most popular boy’s name (after Moe and Snuffy). In 1954, my parents scrambled onto the bandwagon and joined the thousands of others who made Michael the No. 1 boy-baby name that year. It dipped into the No. 2 position in 1960, when the No. 1 spot inexplicably went to Buford, but regained the top rank in 1961 and remained there until The Great Maynard Explosion of 1998. It has since remained at No. 2.

This year’s most popular boys’ name was Jacob. Then came Michael, followed by Ethan, Joshua, Daniel, Christopher, Anthony, William, Matthew and Andrew. Then came Brayden, Braeden, Braedan, Braydon, Braiden, Braylen, Brandon, and Herb.

This year’s most popular girls’ name, as it has been for the last 12 years, was Emily, followed by Isabella, Emma, Ava, Madison, Sophia, Olivia, Abigail, Hannah, and Elizabeth. After which you find Diamonique, Ethyl, Jade, Jayde, Jaede, Jaide, and Gert.

(Neveah, which is heaven spelled backwards, is gaining in popularity for girls, up to No. 31. Also showing up in the Top 100 were Destiny, Trinity, Serenity, and Harmony. Serenity? Harmony? Obviously these were first-time parents, or wishful thinkers.)

The Social Security site has a gizmo with which you can look up names and see how popular they have been over the years. While I was pleased with Michael’s history of high rankings (it actually cracked the Top Ten in 1944) I was even more pleased that Patrick, Victoria and Amy — the names of my siblings — were never out of double figures and occasionally in triples. Hey, in a competitive family like mine, any victory is a good victory.

Now, it’s pretty clear that over time, Michael has become the single most popular male name in America. I’m thinking it’s time we Michaels asserted out Michaelness and started taking advantage of our nominal advantage. I suppose renaming the country to The United States of Mike is out of the question, but there are still plenty of good Miking opportunities, and I’m not just talking Mikeville or Michaelapolis. How about:

Music — I Want To Hold Your Mike.

History — The Nina, the Pina, and the Mike.

Entertainment — Mike Disney World.

Buildings — The Mike Tower.

Roller Derby — The San Francisco Bay Area Mikes.

Labor — The United Mike Workers.

And so on. Feel free to come up with your own and we Mikes will vote on it.

Meanwhile, we’re going to work on getting back our rightful spot at the very top of the list. Just a little heads-up for all you Jacobs out there. Not to mention you Bufords and Maynards.

© 2008 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.

        

• Click to discuss this story with other readers on our forums.