Published: May 14, 2008 04:11 pm            

I’m not feeling the stimulation

In an effort to boost the economy, the government, a.k.a. our fearless Presidential and Congressional-type leaders in Washington, D.C., have decided to send all good taxpaying Americans an “Economic Stimulus Check.”

Overall, the U.S. Treasury will distribute more than $110 billion to 130 million taxpayers by July. We’re supposed to go out and spend the money on fancy frivolities. Like food and gasoline.

The problem is, our fearless leaders don’t even know how bad things are in middle-class America. They apparently think we should just take our little checks down to the local cash-and-carry and bring home diamonds and furs.

In fact, according to a poll conducted by CNN, most Americans will be spending their checks on bills, debts, and gas. And for the majority, $600 won’t even put a dent in their debt.

Does the government have any clue how Middle America lives? Stimulating our struggling economy with a $600 check is like giving an aspirin to a decapitated man. He may appreciate the gesture for the remaining seconds of involuntary brain activity he has left, but after that, it’s likely not going to help.

Personally, I find it ironic that the government is trying to stimulate anything. Have you ever watched C-SPAN, the National Politics cable channel? Have you ever seen anything less stimulating in your life? I went to the C-SPAN website on Sunday. They had videos. You could either watch President Bush give a special Mother’s Day speech, Hillary and Chelsea going out in New York, or Senator McCain talking about judicial activism. ZZZZZZZ. Not so stimulating. I almost flat-lined before I logged off and went in to watch a repeat of “Spongebob Squarepants.” Now that’s stimulating.

If the government would like to stimulate something, I have a few ideas for them. I’m not one to turn down cash, but if they could just take care of a few other little things for me, I would appreciate it more.

How about if the government stimulates the drug companies to stop their infernal advertising? Am I the only one that finds those ads outrageous? Do they really have so much extra money rolling around that they can advertise so frequently during prime time television? If so, they need to be stimulated to drop their drug prices and drop their offensive ads.

I would gladly give up half my check if the government could stimulate my husband to stop buying useless junk at garage sales. And if they could stimulate my kids to clean their rooms and stop leaving toys all over the house, I’d give up the other half. The check is just going to exacerbate the problem. More money just means more junk and more toys, both of which stimulates my blood pressure, but little more.

And finally, why doesn’t the government use the money to gently kick the gas companies in the rump and stimulate them to drop their ridiculous gas prices? There is no excuse for tripling prices in such a short period of time. And what’s worse, they feel they don’t owe us an explanation. They need to be stimulated to fess up and give the people some direct answers.

I could go on and on, but I’m feeling over-stimulated. I think I’d better go lie down. Maybe I’ll turn on C-SPAN. That should put me right to sleep.

— Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer from Clayton. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.

        

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