Published: May 05, 2008 03:43 pm            

This isn’t Archie, but they’re a bunch of Jugheads

Maybe you saw the story about the so-called trend among teen daters to send X-rated photos of themselves to one another via their cell phones.

And maybe you thought what I thought, which may be condensed to: “My stars. Dating certainly has changed.”

Or something to that effect.

We’re not talking Archie trying to choose between Betty and Veronica for a date at the malt shop.

But I can’t say I’m surprised. You take a bunch of goofballs, give them more technology than they can sensibly use, and something like this is going to happen.

“Adolescents are not known for thinking things through — that’s a generational constant,” said Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University in the understatement of the decade. “Now, with the technology that is out there, instead of taking a picture and passing it around the classroom, it’s online, which is a whole different ball game. (Teens) don’t see it that way.”

Wait a minute. Did she just say that before the advent of the cell phone camera, teens were taking naughty pictures and passing them around the classroom?

Yes. Yes, she did.

I was just imagining what would have happened if that sort of thing had gone on in my little high school up in LaGrange County. I think there would have been some shrieking and fainting. I have no idea how the girls might have reacted.

You have to understand that this was a long time ago, when the earth was still cooling. For many of us guys, sex was theoretical. We were pretty sure it existed, somewhere. We also had reason to believe people were naked under their clothes. You just couldn’t prove it by us.

The communications technology of the day was the rotary telephone. On the off-chance that someone younger than 40 might be reading this, it should be noted that these were not equipped with cameras, games, calculators, timepieces, voice mail, text messaging, call forwarding, or customizable ring tones. Imagine this, kiddies: All you could do with these phones was make phone calls, which you placed by sticking a finger in a dial and — get ready — dialing the telephone. What’s more, you couldn’t use the phone while driving, walking through the mall, or sitting in class. Oh, the deprivation. We often had to resort to passing notes in class just to stay in touch on the important issues of the day, such as “Do you like me? Check if Yes. Check if No.”

The phone connected to the outside world in many cases (such as mine) via the party line, which is not nearly as much fun as it sounds. The party line allowed the entire neighborhood, including many of your relatives, to listen in on your conversations. This in itself tended to put a damper on any telephonic shenanigans. After all, there are certain things you simply don’t want Grandma to hear.

Or see. Remember, kids, anything you send on a cell phone can (and these days likely will) wind up on the Weird Wide Web. And today’s Grandmas are anything but stuck in the party-line days. They get e-mail, you know. With attachments. Such as, oh, photos.

Then again, some kids don’t seem to mind who sees them in the altogether.

“They don’t see anything wrong with it,” said Mark Raiff, a high school principal in Ohio. “It leaves me speechless.”

It’s enough to make you wish the malt shop was real, isn’t it? Check if Yes. Check if No.

© 2008 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.

        

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