Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

January 8, 2013

Another Apocalypse proven false

Well, I don't know about you, but for my money, 12-21-12 was about the lamest apocalypse I've ever seen. Phooey.

And so the Mayan Calendar myth goes onto the trash heap with all the other end of times Cassandragrams, and I'm not just talking about those e-mails you got before the election. How about that Harold Camping yahoo from a couple of years back, the guy who twice predicted the exact date and time of the Rapture: Once when he said it was going to happen, and then again when he said it was really going to happen after his first prediction flopped.

But that was the work of an apocalyptic nutball preacher in 2010. Nobody really took it seriously because there simply was no reason to. Unlike 2012, when the doomsday prediction was built on the solid foundations of an ancient race with a religion based on human sacrifice.

In other words: Sheesh. Really, people? They closed schools in Michigan for this?

The one thing you can say for the 12-21-12 nonsense is that it was a modestly amusing diversion from a stretch of pretty bleak news and nobody with a brain larger than a walnut took it seriously. This did not, however, stop a proliferation of theories as to what was supposed to happen on that fateful Friday because, as we all know, about a third of the people on this planet are Walnut Brains.

Here are my favorites:

1. Earth was supposed to collide with an asteroid and Bruce Willis was not able to save us like he did in "Armageddon."

2. A strange magnetic vibration was supposed to trigger the pineal glands of every human on earth - all 7 billion of us - to release a hallucinogen, causing a worldwide psychedelic trip. Which would have been groovy, man.

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