By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Jan 08, 2013, 03:23 PM EST
Well, I don't know about you, but for my money, 12-21-12 was about the lamest apocalypse I've ever seen. Phooey.
And so the Mayan Calendar myth goes onto the trash heap with all the other end of times Cassandragrams, and I'm not just talking about those e-mails you got before the election. How about that Harold Camping yahoo from a couple of years back, the guy who twice predicted the exact date and time of the Rapture: Once when he said it was going to happen, and then again when he said it was really going to happen after his first prediction flopped.
But that was the work of an apocalyptic nutball preacher in 2010. Nobody really took it seriously because there simply was no reason to. Unlike 2012, when the doomsday prediction was built on the solid foundations of an ancient race with a religion based on human sacrifice.
In other words: Sheesh. Really, people? They closed schools in Michigan for this?
The one thing you can say for the 12-21-12 nonsense is that it was a modestly amusing diversion from a stretch of pretty bleak news and nobody with a brain larger than a walnut took it seriously. This did not, however, stop a proliferation of theories as to what was supposed to happen on that fateful Friday because, as we all know, about a third of the people on this planet are Walnut Brains.
Here are my favorites:
1. Earth was supposed to collide with an asteroid and Bruce Willis was not able to save us like he did in "Armageddon."
2. A strange magnetic vibration was supposed to trigger the pineal glands of every human on earth - all 7 billion of us - to release a hallucinogen, causing a worldwide psychedelic trip. Which would have been groovy, man.
3. Atlantis was supposed to rise. Presumably bringing Aquaman (the lamest superhero ever) with it.
4. The planet was supposed to be consumed by fires or floods or both, which would have been a neat trick.
5. Aliens were supposed to return to pick up those of us who had been properly selected, and no, you were not among them.
Or everything on the planet, from computers to can openers, would stop working, government and financial systems would collapse, and the Apocalypse would be upon us. In other words, the manure would strike the air conditioner.
None of which, you'll recall, seemed to happen.
With all that kind of excitement at stake, I imagine there were a lot of disappointed 12-21-12 disaster predictors who woke up very disappointed on 12-22.
You have to wonder what drives people like that. I suppose it could be just a generalized sort of fear. There are lots of people who exist in a constant state of dread, skulking through their lives, glancing nervously upward as they wait for someone to drop a piano on them.
And there are those who find today's belief systems entirely too cheerful, optimistic, and empowering, and so go looking for something that is (a.) out of their hands and (b.) going to wipe us out at any moment. Although you certainly don't have to use the Mayan calendar for that, as long as we have TV preachers.
Or maybe some people are just morons. See above under "Walnut Brains." Or, as I also like to call them, Aquaman fans.
© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
December 10, 2013
Indiana’s lopsided win in the Old Oaken Bucket game ended yet another disappointing season for those unfortunate enough to call themselves Hoosier Football fans. As a member of that tortured lot, the climactic victory over hapless, one-win Purdue offered little solace.
December 9, 2013
December 7, 2013
When I woke up Saturday morning, I gave a customary online scan of Friday’s sports, mainly for a recap of the Pacers’ home game against Milwaukee.
November 18, 2013
Most people recall where they were upon hearing significant news in their life, whether it was positive or negative. I remember where I was when I heard now-former Butler basketball coach Brad Stevens was going to the Boston Celtics.
November 12, 2013
Having gone to a football school in the heart of basketball country, I was never around soccer in my youth, and thus haven’t been a soccer guy in adulthood.
November 5, 2013
I hate to say it, but I'm afraid we've seen this before.
October 29, 2013
There have been a lot of big games played in Indianapolis, none bigger than the Colts' unforgettable win over New England in the AFC championship seven years ago.
While next Monday's visit from Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos won't eclipse that monumental event, there is no doubt that the city has never and will never experience another night like No. 18's return.
October 17, 2013
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs Part V: The Big One
A change in diet quickly alters the types of bacteria living in the human gut, a finding that suggests this rapid adaptability to different foods can be used to control illnesses tied to stomach microbes, researchers said.
December 11, 2013
© 2013 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. ·
CNHI Classified Advertising Network ·
CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2013. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require
you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Terms and Conditions
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN
8109 Kingston St., Suite 500