Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

November 20, 2012

Bacon: That's a wrap

November is a month to give thanks. Following the tradition, I am continuing my month-long series on things that I am thankful for. This week: I am thankful that my Thanksgiving turkey will not be covered in bacon. Perhaps I should explain.

Earlier this year I wrote a column about bacon. Bacon is, as they say, "trending heavily" this year. I mentioned then that your life can be one big bacon-themed bonanza, and so can your death. That is because you can get bacon toothpaste, dental floss, mints, gumballs, shakes, soap, massage oil, vodka, popcorn, envelopes, sheets, jammies, and yes, a coffin painted like bacon and filled with bacon scented air-fresheners; I guess so that bacon-lovers can enjoy what killed them long into the afterlife.

It only makes sense then that this bacon-obsessed society would follow all that up by giving thanks for their compacted arteries by adding bacon to their Thanksgiving meal.

To get the scoop on all things bacon, I usually go right to the source: "Bacon Today; Daily News on the World of Sweet, Sweet Bacon." This wonderful website, found at bacontoday.com, has bacon news, bacon reviews, bacon recipes, and of course, a bacon gift shop. If you want to know how to die of a coronary in the quickest possible fashion, this is the place to be.

First and foremost on the Thanksgiving menu is a bacon-wrapped turkey. You may have seen pictures of it online as it is all the rage this year. One recipe I found suggested you begin by taking a half pound of bacon and a half pound of butter and put them in a blender with some spices to make a nice, bacon butter. Then you rub it all over the turkey. You know, because just wrapping the turkey in bacon might not kill you, so you need to go the extra mile.

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