By Rebecca Todd
— While diligently researching a story on important developments in politics, I realized that there is a more important story that needs to be covered. I would therefore be remiss if I did not promptly scrap my story on the race for the presidency in favor of a full coverage report on Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week used to be called New York Fashion Week. However, in this money-hungry, commercial society in which we live, sell-out is common place. You would never catch me selling out. It's so wrong. I can't stand the fact that all of our stadiums and events are now named after sponsors. Money is truly ruling this country.
As I sat drinking my Lipton Ice Tea¨ ("Made with the goodness of tea leaves, water and sunshine!"), I decided that no fashion article would be complete without the invaluable input from an expert. Therefore, I felt it necessary once again to call upon my fashion source and long-time acquaintance, "Ms. Fashionista."
As you may recall from previous interviews with Ms. F, she is a one-time Indiana resident who has relocated to the coast in favor of a life of fame, fortune, and fashion. Her name has been changed to protect her identity because, for some reason, she feels she is beneath our interviews. Fortunately, I have blackmail material. For the record, I am required to say, Ms. Fashionista's interview is sponsored by a grant from the American Fashion Institute of America.
Ms. F and myself decided to meet at T.G.I. Fridays¨ ("In here, it's always Friday"). It had been awhile since we last met face to face. I guess because of the whole blackmail thing, Ms. F and I do not always see eye to eye. Some people are so sensitive.
Rebecca Todd: "Good to see you Ms. F. How are things on the fashion front?
Ms. F: "There is no front in fashion, darling. Fashion is art, not a war."
RT: "Right. So why do the models always look like they're in a war then? Their scowls would scare even the most ferocious warrior."
Ms. F: (Scoffing smarmily). "They are not scowling, dear. They are letting the world know that fashion is serious business, not to be taken lightly."
RT: "Okay, but most of them are wearing outfits that look like punk rocker duds, circa 1980. Put that together with the scowl and the whacky hair-styles and all I see is the scary clown from Steven King's ÔIt.'" ("Your every fear - all in one deadly enemy"- available on Netflix¨).
Ms. F: (Sighs). "I can see you really have no fashion sense. Is there some 'real' fashion question you have for me, love?"
RT: "Yes. Why do you sycophantic fashion types always call people darling, dear, and love?"
Ms. F: "This interview is over."
So there you have it; the scoop on this year's fashion. I hope you all feel as enlightened as I do.
And for the record, I may resort to blackmail from time to time if it means an awesome interview like the above. But be assured that I will never sell out like those losers at New York Fashion Week - I mean Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
As a fashion side note, however, have you seen the new line at Target¨. "Expect more. Pay less."
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.