Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

October 26, 2012

Caution: Parental discretion advised

(Continued)

Kevin burst into the cobweb-filled, ghost-infested house with a happy, sugar anticipation. "Trick or treat!" he was still screaming. "Trick or treat! Trick or ..."

Kevin's excited cries died in his throat as he suddenly noticed a strange blue glow coming from underneath a door to his right. The glow was intoxicating. Kevin could not resist it. He moved slowly toward the door and pushed it forward. The blue glow filled his vision. He was instantly entranced.

Kevin moved toward the glowing screen slowly. (Note: There are no warnings for the things that are coming ... but there should be). "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" was splayed across the screen. Wicked laughter came from the corner or the room, but Kevin barely noticed the wicked old witch. "Come child," she purred. "Come sit and watch television with me."

His candy all but forgotten, Kevin sat. And Kevin watched. He watched Honey Boo Boo cavort. Then he watched "My Big Redneck Wedding." Then he watched "Maury Povich." Then that wicked old witch - she was truly evil - turned on "Jersey Shore"; dear Lord, it was a double episode. The old crone clapped her hands with glee, as Kevin's brain slowly turned to jelly.

When it was over, the witch walked Kevin to the door, gave him a deep-fried Twinkie and sent him on his way. "Gym tan laundry," Kevin muttered as he crossed the rickety porch and staggered up the lane.

"Gym tan laundry," the witch agreed as she closed the door. "Gym tan laundry, indeed."

- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.

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