Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

October 26, 2012

Caution: Parental discretion advised

There are scary things out there in this world; things we should protect our children from. However, they are not the things children often hear scary Halloween stories about. Children are told stories about ghosts and vampires. Warnings are given that the stories might be too scary for young children. But the real scary things, the things that children should really be warned about, are not usually in these stories. If they were, the stories might go something like this:

The Halloween night was dark and stormy. The wind howled as Kevin headed toward the old house. "Just one more house and then I will be done trick or treating," he thought to himself.

Kevin was no longer thinking straight. He had already consumed three Milky Ways, two Kit Kats, several bags of M&Ms both plain and peanut, and even a bag of those nasty peanut butter M&Ms. He was so high on sugar he had even eaten several of those generic jaw breakers and multi-flavored taffy-type things that come in bulk at Walmart. You know, the kind that even dieting, middle-aged women wouldn't bother to sneak out of their child's trick or treat bag.

So Kevin skipped ahead up the broken steps of the old house and cheerfully, if not a little too emphatically, pounded on the crooked door like a (note: graphic, scary image coming up! Parental discretion advised) zombie smelling fresh brains. He was on such a sugar rush, it never even occurred to him to panic as the door flung itself open and crashed against an interior wall, splitting into pieces and (note: children, do not read!) pooling several large, scuttling creatures onto the floor.

"Trick or treat! Trick or treat! Trick or treat!" Kevin screamed like a screeching (note: horrific imagery ahead! Parental discretion advised) bat out of hell.

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