By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Feb 26, 2013, 04:53 PM EST
As a Roman Catholic male, I am eligible to become Pope.
Granted, it's something of a long shot, but just in case, I have prepared my application:
"Howdy do, Buongiorno and Dominus Vobiscum from Indianapolis, Indiana, home of the world's greatest automobile race and, should the white smoke puff in my favor, the next Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Patriarch of the West, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God.
"I'd like to state my case for papal office. As you can see from my resume, I am currently a free-lance writer, part-time farmer, and adjunct professor. This means I have plenty of spare time which I would gladly apply to Popeing. Popeitude. Being Pope.
"You can also see that I have been something of a 'free spirit' in my life, owing to a background in music, which I believe will bring a certain New World aesthetic to the leadership of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics, to wit:
"A. Papal Wardrobe - Let's get rid of the ermine and jewels and go for something practical. I'm thinking bowling shirts with names over the pockets. Imagine how many hungry people we could feed, clothe, house, and comfort with the money we'd save (and the fortune we'd get selling the old duds on Ebay).
"B. Speaking of Old Duds - It's time we got some younger people in the church hierarchy. By younger, I mean "less than the College of Cardinals' current average age of 72.' A few wild and crazy 68-year-olds could really liven up the joint.
March 3, 2014
February 27, 2014
February 26, 2014
There was a wide array of reactions to Seattle DB Richard Sherman’s post-game “interview” with Erin Andrews following the Seahawks’ NFC title win over San Francisco.
Mine? Laughter, as the shout-down was the most entertaining thing I saw all day.
January 28, 2014
Butler is still a long way from saving its 2013-14 men’s basketball season, but if the Bulldogs turn it around fully and reach the NCAA Tournament, it will have started this past Saturday at Hinkle Fieldhouse.
January 21, 2014
A fine season for the Indianapolis Colts ended with a whimper Saturday at New England, but in recent team history, it was far from the most disappointing postseason defeat.
January 14, 2014
The Indianapolis Colts’ miraculous 45-44 wild card victory over Kansas City on Saturday ended just after 8 p.m. After leaving Lucas Oil Stadium, it took until around midnight for the pounding in my head to subside.
January 7, 2014
December 31, 2013
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs Part V: The Big One
Smartphones need kill switches. It's a relatively easy solution to the pricey (and irritating) problem of smartphone theft. But who would have thought that the big carriers would team up with Apple, Google, Microsoft, Nokia, Samsung and lots of other manufacturers to voluntarily begin adding the technology by July 2015? The cooperative spirit! It makes so much sense!
April 18, 2014
© 2014 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. ·
CNHI Classified Advertising Network ·
CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2014. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require
you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Terms and Conditions
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN
8109 Kingston St., Suite 500