By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Thu Oct 04, 2012, 03:19 PM EDT
I was sweaty and clammy, unsteady. My insides rumbled ominously. Oh, the humanity.
I sat up, clicked on the light, and looked around the room. There, staring at me over the end of the bed, was Cookie. She looked resentful. And I think I know why.
It seems Cookie is not the only gassy one in the family. Evidently I had been making quite a negative contribution to air quality.
Cookie looked daggers at me for a second more and then went downstairs to sleep, or at least breathe easier.
Well, you don't have to be Einstein to figure it out. If something you eat - something that never used to bother you, gastrointestinally speaking - makes you so spectacularly windy that it chases the dog out of the room, you probably shouldn't be eating it. Ever again.
All right, so ... lesson learned, which is a good thing, although it might not seem that way to Cookie.
And what is the lesson?
To begin with, just because a person is of a certain age doesn't mean he can't still learn, or that he can't change in order to accommodate a new reality.
But maybe the larger picture tells us that refusing to act your age can have consequences. Better to let the past be the fondly-remembered past while you live in the present. Or, to put it another way, skip the sliders, enjoy a nice age-appropriate salad, and remain in the dog's good graces. That doesn't seem so difficult.
I believe it would only be a Slight Hassle.
2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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