Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

May 17, 2013

Food regulations of the future?

(Continued)

Indeed, local chain owners are already talking about dumping their affiliation with national brands. An owner of a McDonalds in Kansas City who asked not to be identified said he was considering becoming MacDoodles to avoid the regulation.

The new rules follow years of increased regulation of food by Congress and federal agencies as Americans have grown ever larger. An estimated 36 percent of Americans are overweight and many of them obese.

Starting this year, for example, new refrigerators must come equipped with cameras in order to photograph the purchases of consumers and relay information to the DHHS where the images will be assessed by nutrition experts. Americans found in violation of the federally approved food pyramid will be referred to the agency’s armed food police. Police may confiscate food and impose fines up to $1,000 on those deemed obese or morbidly obese found with certain high fat foods, including ice cream, triple cream brie, and bacon in their homes. All violators must go through a federally approved food counseling session run by AFSCME members.

A network of drones will assist DHHS in monitoring grocery store parking lots and driveways. Nutrition experts at the agency will also monitor the online “recipe boxes” of those with accounts on food websites to ensure that Americans are choosing the best meals for their families, among other measures.

Obese adults with children who are not fat will be able to apply for waivers for certain items and all people will be allowed to apply for waivers for certain holidays.

Another law passed this year will require those buying clothes over a waist size 36 men’s and size 12 women’s (members of Congress excepted) to submit an Individual Health Excellence Life Plan  (iHELP) to DHHS and provide monthly updates on their progress in order to speed their achieving a federally accepted healthy weight.

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