Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

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Commentary

April 29, 2013

Time to stop the name game

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” — Einstein.

Einstein nailed it. Of course he did. He’s Einstein. Although I’m sure he would be thrilled with my endorsement. But let’s face it; it doesn’t take Einstein to figure that one out. All it takes is a day working with the public or a trip to Walmart to realize that just when you think you’ve seen human stupidity at its most infinite height, someone steps up to knock it out of the park.

Case in point: let’s take a trip to an American hospital and wander through the maternity ward. We’re going to have to be really careful because security is extra tight in maternity wards, which is evidenced by the way one of my husband’s friends was able to just waltz into the room seconds after I had given birth to my daughter; not that I’m bitter.

Here we are, spying on a happy couple as they beam down upon the little pink, precious bundle with which they have just been blessed. Then the proud mommy looks down at her newborn and says, “I’m going to name her Hashtag,” at which point sirens go off and the authorities swoop in and take the baby before she can be further damaged by these morons.

At least, that’s what I wish would happen. Alas, people are allowed to slap their children with any kind of made-up moniker they like, and Hashtag Jameson is a real person as far as I can tell. Trust me I searched in vain trying to prove that the story that went viral at the end of last year was not true. However, the more I read, the more I believe that people will name their child anything and nobody can stop them.

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