By Rebecca Todd
The Hendricks County Flyer
Fri Apr 26, 2013, 03:20 PM EDT
“Let’s have jelly bean day!” shouted one committee member. It’s now held on April 22.
“I vote for pancake day!” drooled another. It’s now held on February 5.
“Pigs in a blanket day!” shouted Kevin. It’s now held on April 24.
“Crown Roast of Pork Day!” yelled Marsha. It’s now held on March 7.
“Zucchini Day!” screamed Phyllis.
Phyllis was promptly stripped of her membership and booted out of the meeting. But the committee did decide to make August 8 “Leave a zucchini on your neighbor’s porch day” in her honor. Phyllis gets a lot of zucchini on August 8, so everything turned out okay.
By the time the committee was done, they had completely gone insane with power and butchered the calendar with their so-called holidays. Every day now has at least one special meaning. Some have as many as seven. And don’t even get me started on the special weeks and months.
It got ugly in the end. The committee began to turn on each other. Kevin wanted May 11 to be “Twilight Zone Day,” and Marsha wanted it to be “Eat What You Want Day.” There was an ugly confrontation. Sadly, Kevin and Marsha are no longer welcome at the committee meetings or at the Cracker Barrel in Corbon, Kentucky where the meeting was held that night.
Unfortunately, the committee lives on. Today, for example, is not only “Tell A Story Day,” it is also “Babe Ruth Day” and “National Prime Rib Day.”
Play a little baseball; eat a nice prime rib dinner. The story is told.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book “What’s the Point?” available on booklocker.com. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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