Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Breaking News

Commentary

April 26, 2013

What day is today?

Good news! April 27 is “Tell A Story Day,” and that’s today. Boy, are you in for a treat. Ready? Here we go.

Once upon a time, there was a group of people that got together and decided that our country simply did not have enough holidays. They put their heads together and decided to form a very scary thing called a “committee.”

Webster’s defines a committee thusly: “a body of persons delegated to consider, investigate, take action on, or report on some matter.” While that is accurate, it is not the whole story. You see, what a committee also does is takes the matter and manipulates it, bends it, twists it, wrenches it and mutates it until it becomes at least 20 times more complicated than it was when they began. To wit, a quote from Sir Alec Issigonis: “A camel is a race horse designed by a committee.”

Nevertheless, the committee was formed and they created a movement that would promote not only the commonly known holidays such as Christmas and Easter, but would also push some of the smaller holidays to grow.

Their plan worked and soon Halloween, Labor Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, Mothers Day, Fathers Day and Valentines Day were becoming just as commercialized as Christmas and Easter. People were buying cards, putting up decorations, cooking large meals and spending hundreds of dollars for every holiday.

Well, the little committee was very happy, as you could imagine, so they decided to push things further. Soon they were developing new holidays like Kissing Day, Sweetheart Day, Secretary Day, Boss’s Day and Grandparents Day. The public responded by spending more money.

The committee was ecstatic. So they did what demented committees flushed with arrogance and power usually do; they expanded. With this expansion came a flood of new ideas to push the country’s holidays to all new heights and, of course, beyond all boundaries of human sanity; especially when they were hungry.

Text Only
Commentary
  • Free Rick Perry |It tells you much about the laughable indictment of Texas Gov. Rick Perry that it has made him a figure of bipartisan sympathy. Perry was indicted recently for the offense of vetoing an appropriations bill. Not vetoing an appropriations bill in exch

    August 21, 2014

  • Icy heads and warm hearts |Internet fads come and go. Most of them are ridiculous, pointless and often dangerous like the cinnamon challenge, planking and Justin Bieber. Normally the fads involve a lot of people who want to be seen and heard. The new fad, however, is the ice

    August 21, 2014

  • Trick or treating already? |So there I was, wheeling my cart merrily through the grocery store, whistling while I went on a search for enchilada sauce, when I rounded a turn at the end of an aisle and found myself face-to-face with … A wall of candy. Halloween candy. In Augu

    August 18, 2014

  • Trick or treating already? |So there I was, wheeling my cart merrily through the grocery store, whistling while I went on a search for enchilada sauce, when I rounded a turn at the end of an aisle and found myself face-to-face with … A wall of candy. Halloween candy. In Augu

    August 18, 2014

  • The Ferguson melodrama |Even if the police in Ferguson, Mo., are the brutal occupying force alleged by the protesters there, what do local shop owners have to do with it? In the wake of the police shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown in disputed circumstances, rioters bur

    August 18, 2014

  • The Ferguson melodrama |Even if the police in Ferguson, Mo., are the brutal occupying force alleged by the protesters there, what do local shop owners have to do with it? In the wake of the police shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown in disputed circumstances, rioters bur

    August 18, 2014

  • Debate filled with 'hate' gives Hamas a pass |One of the worst things about our “divisive” political culture is that we’re wearing out words. We use some of them so constantly that they’ve lost their power. To paraphrase Nigel Tufnel of “This is Spinal Tap,” we’ve turned them up to 11 and kept

    August 18, 2014

  • The seven Facebook friends everyone has |Recently, I was told that I’m behind the times because I’m still on Facebook. Just five years ago, I was told I was behind the times because I wasn’t on Facebook. The new “it” social media apps are Instagram, Twitter and a thousand other apps that I

    August 14, 2014

  • A hell of a diplomatic foray |If an Israeli high-level official were caught on a hot mic candidly commenting on Secretary of State John Kerry's ill-fated act of Israel-Hamas peacemaking, he might call it "a hell of a diplomatic foray." Kerry was caught sarcastically describing t

    July 30, 2014

  • Adopting Indiana? Or a 'deadbeat parent'? This past week we’ve learned that the State of Indiana has essentially stiffed 1,400 families who have adopted special needs children. The subsidies they were promised to raise kids in the state’s foster child program have been denied, prompting one

    July 12, 2014

House Ads
Hendricks County Marquee
Email News Sign Up
Facebook
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
Poll

Are you worried about the violence in Ferguson, Mo., spreading across the country?

Yes
No
Not concerned one way or the other
     View Results
AP Video
Tit for Tat? McDonald's Shuttered in Moscow Life on the Professional Video Game Circuit TX Gov Perry in Washington: 'Confident' in Case Hospital Releases Two Missionaries Who Had Ebola Ramen Health Risks: The Dark Side of the Noodle NYC Doctor-in-chief Seeks Community Approach Indonesian Police Fire Tear Gas at Protesters Raw: Shots Fired in Liberian Shantytown DOJ, Bank of America Reach Record Settlement Raw: Cubavision Airs Images of Fidel Castro Raw: Grief After Deadly Airstrikes in Gaza Officer Who Pointed Gun at Protesters Suspended Kathy Griffin Challenges Minaj to 'a Booty Off' Johnson: Six Arrests, No Tear Gas in Ferguson Raw: Rescue, Relief Efforts at Japan Landslide Cadavers, a Teen, and a Medical School Dream California Drought Stings Honeybees, Beekeepers Officer Who Pointed Gun at Protesters Suspended US Mission to Rescue Hostages in Syria Failed
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Must Read