Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

May 6, 2013

It’s all about the bacon

(Continued)

You can’t ignore the fact that bacon addiction has been rampant in recent years. You can get bacon flavored ice cream sundaes, shakes, donuts, gum, candy, envelopes, dental floss and Diet Coke.  There are bacon wallets, shoes, bandages, sheets, toothpicks and toilet paper. People are throwing bacon parties! Bacon addiction is out of control.

It won’t be long before we’ll see the addicts on the streets with “will work for bacon” signs. There will be bacon pushers trying to get our kids to eat bacon in the school yards and underground bacon cartels. And of course, all the bacon-addicted rats will become out of control. You’ll see children wrestling with rats over bacon strips. It will be a bacon apocalypse.

But then again, I’m thinking a bacon party sounds like a lot of fun. I could serve bacon wrapped scallops and bacon wrapped filets. I could make hors d’oeuvres like bacon tarts and caramelized bacon. Cocktails will include bacon vodka and martinis with bacon wrapped olives! We could all wear bacon dresses and bacon ties! I’m so excited!

Uh oh. I think I might have a problem.

— Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book “What’s the Point?” available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.

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