Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

May 31, 2014

Don't deep freeze that depressing, designer denim

If you are like me, you spend an awful lot of time cleaning things. From clothes to dishes to…well, basically everything in the house; we battle bacteria on a daily basis.

Well, friends, it has come to my attention that all this fussing over bacteria is unnecessary, because, according to the all knowing, all seeing Internet, there is a better way to kill those nasty little boogers. All you have to do is —and I get this information from several resources and even a highly paid CEO of a major company—freeze everything.

How this great idea has passed us by for centuries is beyond me, but according to, for one, the CEO of Levi Strauss & Co., Chip Bergh, sticking your jeans in the freezer kills the bacteria. No need to put them in the washer! Just stick them in the freezer right next to the Hungry Man dinners.

Well, that’s good to know isn’t it? I guess I need to get a big chest freezer so I can throw all my laundry in it and freeze it every week. Gosh, all this time I’ve been putting dishes in the dishwasher also. Who knew that I could just throw them in the freezer over night? What a great concept.

As for the rest of the house…well, there’s winter. According to this bacteria-killing theory, all I have to do, apparently, is turn off the heat and let the place freeze all winter and it will magically be clean.

Needless to say, there may be a little bit of a problem with this theory. For one thing, how about if we consider the fact that scientists often freeze bacteria to preserve it for examination. Hmmm. Doesn’t that kind of hint at the fact that freezing doesn’t kill bacteria?

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