Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

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January 21, 2013

Sleep for success

I'm writing today to petition my boss, and everyone else's boss, to add an important benefit to everyone's work day. To clear up any confusion, I will just refer to this hoard of bosses as "Mr. Boss Man," which is how I like to refer to my boss anyway, although sometimes I call him "Big Dog," because I'm cool like that and also because I have a co-worker who is somewhat overly enthusiastic at times and gives us all nicknames. Said co-worker figures prominently into my argument for this new benefit, as she is very much in need of it. We will call her "Donna" because I wouldn't want to use her real name.

This new benefit is not just for employees, it will also strengthen each and every business and organization who implements my new plan. My plan ensures that all employees will show improved performance and have fewer accidents. Employees will have better memories, make fewer mistakes, and have quicker reaction times. Employees will be happier and teamwork will improve. I'm not just talking about your employees, Mr. Boss Man, I'm talking about you as well. You will see these same improvements in yourself.

What is this miracle of all miracles that will improve your business? What is this thing that will turn things around for you? It's quite simple: nap time.

I'll give you a moment to quit laughing, because I assure you, I am quite serious about this.

Still waiting.

All done? Good. Now hear me out.

It's no secret that most people fall into a lull after lunch during the business day. Others, like "Donna," tend to lose focus and do inane things like make up nicknames for the rest of the staff or sing little songs.

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