By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Apr 02, 2013, 05:39 PM EDT
Kind of a big-deal week going on for me right now. I'm having bariatric surgery.
(Note: I hereby promise not to write extensively about the experience. These days, any time a reporter - or worse, one of the pestiferous host of bloggers - has a major medical procedure, it becomes a series of deeply personal essays invariably titled "My (Name Of Procedure Goes Here) Journey."
Well, I won't do that. Unless, of course, it means I can write something off on my income taxes. In that case, get ready for My Weight-Loss Surgery Travelogue.
I have noticed that announcing my surgery to family and friends elicits one of two responses: "Wow, that's great!" or "What? Are you sure?" Right now, the "Whats" are leading the "Wows" by about five to one.
I guess it's because I'm not as grossly overweight as the people we see on those weight loss programs on TV, either the contest ones or the health documentaries.
True, I don't weigh 400, 500, or 600 pounds. But I can recall a time in my adult life when it would have taken two of me to equal my present weight. This is a hard realization for someone once described as a beanpole.
To be fair, my beanpole period was brief. Most of my life I have been more "bean" than "pole," and a plump and juicy bean at that. My childhood nickname was "Lard Butt." That ought to give you some idea of my general magnus corpus for most of my life.
I'm tired of it, and I do mean tired. A body mass index like mine is a lot of work to lug around.
"You should diet," a friend suggested helpfully.
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