Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

March 19, 2013

Why is everyone so fascinated with zombies?

There are advantages to getting older, and I'm not just talking about reduced prices on fried chicken when you eat supper at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Chief among these advantages, in my view, is no longer having to worry because you don't understand popular culture. In fact, you can freely admit it, which I do, often. This would have been the kiss of death, popularity-wise, when I was a young man:

Mike: You know, I just don't get Roller Disco.

Mike's friends: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Roller Disco is the groovy expression of youthful exuberance combining the seductive beat of disco music and the sinewy turns of disco dancing with the athletic grace of roller skating. You are so out of touch, Mike Redmond. Ha ha ha ha ha ha some more. See you later, you jive turkey. Come on, gang - let's boogie!

Oh, how embarrassing it was. Although as you can see by the number of Roller Disco palaces around these days, I eventually came out ahead on that deal.

These days, I find myself puzzled by the popularity of zombies.

I'm an old-school monster kind of guy - love my Frankenstein, my Wolfman, my Dracula, my Mummy (because you should always love your Mummy). And I'm not talking remakes. I mean the creaky old original films from Universal Studios. Those monsters scared me when I was watching them on Sammy Terry's Nightmare Theater, and I still get a tiny thrill of terror seeing their hokey selves on DVDs.

But zombies? I just don't understand the fascination. They shuffle around with deplorable skin conditions mumbling about eating brains and destroying anyone who gets in their way.

So what? Take away the part about the brains and it's just another clearance sale.

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