By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Nov 20, 2012, 04:08 PM EST
So I'm scrolling through the In Box, past the come-ons for skin tag removal and fortunes in Nigeria, when I come across this doozy:
"Michael, what do you want for Black Friday?"
What do I want for Black Friday? How about that it doesn't exist?
Once I was coerced into going out do my Christmas shopping on Black Friday. Never again. For one thing, I had to get up at 3 a.m., which is another way of saying stay up way past my bedtime. No thank you. If I'm going to get up at 3 a.m. it will be for the following reasons only:
A. The house is on fire.
B. The dog has to pee.
C. I do, too.
D. There's a Japanese rubber monster film festival on TV and 3 a.m. is when they're showing "Destroy All Monsters!" It's a classic.
As if getting up in the middle of the night wasn't bad enough, then I had to go Christmas shopping, "had to" being the operative phrase in that sentence. Sorry, in Mike World "have to" doesn't pair up with "go Christmas shopping" until noon Dec. 24. And if conditions are right, that happens to be one of my favorite times to shop.
The day-before-Christmas panic has, for me anyway, a certain cheerful vibe. Everyone's bustling about in (mostly) happy anticipation of the next day, and the air seems full of Christmas music instead of exhaust fumes and sewer gas.
I remember one Christmas Eve about 30 years ago when I was running around downtown Indianapolis, arms full of packages. A beautiful snow began to fall and I thought to myself, "This is exactly like being in an old Christmas movie."
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