Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Breaking News

Commentary

December 24, 2013

Happy holidays from Kim Kardashian!

(Continued)

I don’t know about you, but I am really late in buying gifts this year. Having a baby means I’ve had to spend a lot more time sleeping and working out with my personal trainer to look dewy faced and get back into a bikini (or nothing at all for a certain video with Kanye!), so it hasn’t left time for much else. Like supermodel Gisele Bundchen, I don’t know what I would do without my beauty squad! As mentioned, exercise is very important to me and I particularly love yoga, but have not yet found a brand of clothing that fits my curves properly. I will definitely NOT be wearing Lululemon after the founder said his customers are to blame for the sheerness of the fabric and their lady parts showing because of their body types. First of all, I like my lady parts showing. And second, why would any self-respecting executive force his customers to self-reflect about their weight? Will he install fat calipers in his stores to make sure only the right people purchase his garments? How dim!

To prospective clothing sponsors — you know I would never make that kind of mistake. Who wants me to be their new yoga model? I have the perfect name for the company: Spiritual Awakening. I can just see it branded on the derrieres of millions of women! Can’t you?

Writing this much is making me tired, so I am going to pour another Starbucks and stop taking selfies with the iPad that I am supposed to be composing this letter on! Sometimes my beauty overwhelms me, though, and I get carried away. I’m probably the only woman with more photos of myself than my baby on my iPhone! Hee hee hee.

Since I’ve mentioned all of my sponsors and can’t think of anything else to say — except if you still need a stocking stuffer, True Reflection or any of my other fragrances make a great gift for yourself or your friends — I hope you and yours remember the true spirit of the season and give to others less fortunate.

Wishing you and yours a Merry Merry!

Your friend,

Kim

— Marta Mossburg is an independent columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @mmossburg.

Text Only
Commentary
  • Free Rick Perry |It tells you much about the laughable indictment of Texas Gov. Rick Perry that it has made him a figure of bipartisan sympathy. Perry was indicted recently for the offense of vetoing an appropriations bill. Not vetoing an appropriations bill in exch

    August 21, 2014

  • Icy heads and warm hearts |Internet fads come and go. Most of them are ridiculous, pointless and often dangerous like the cinnamon challenge, planking and Justin Bieber. Normally the fads involve a lot of people who want to be seen and heard. The new fad, however, is the ice

    August 21, 2014

  • Trick or treating already? |So there I was, wheeling my cart merrily through the grocery store, whistling while I went on a search for enchilada sauce, when I rounded a turn at the end of an aisle and found myself face-to-face with … A wall of candy. Halloween candy. In Augu

    August 18, 2014

  • Trick or treating already? |So there I was, wheeling my cart merrily through the grocery store, whistling while I went on a search for enchilada sauce, when I rounded a turn at the end of an aisle and found myself face-to-face with … A wall of candy. Halloween candy. In Augu

    August 18, 2014

  • The Ferguson melodrama |Even if the police in Ferguson, Mo., are the brutal occupying force alleged by the protesters there, what do local shop owners have to do with it? In the wake of the police shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown in disputed circumstances, rioters bur

    August 18, 2014

  • The Ferguson melodrama |Even if the police in Ferguson, Mo., are the brutal occupying force alleged by the protesters there, what do local shop owners have to do with it? In the wake of the police shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown in disputed circumstances, rioters bur

    August 18, 2014

  • Debate filled with 'hate' gives Hamas a pass |One of the worst things about our “divisive” political culture is that we’re wearing out words. We use some of them so constantly that they’ve lost their power. To paraphrase Nigel Tufnel of “This is Spinal Tap,” we’ve turned them up to 11 and kept

    August 18, 2014

  • The seven Facebook friends everyone has |Recently, I was told that I’m behind the times because I’m still on Facebook. Just five years ago, I was told I was behind the times because I wasn’t on Facebook. The new “it” social media apps are Instagram, Twitter and a thousand other apps that I

    August 14, 2014

  • A hell of a diplomatic foray |If an Israeli high-level official were caught on a hot mic candidly commenting on Secretary of State John Kerry's ill-fated act of Israel-Hamas peacemaking, he might call it "a hell of a diplomatic foray." Kerry was caught sarcastically describing t

    July 30, 2014

  • Adopting Indiana? Or a 'deadbeat parent'? This past week we’ve learned that the State of Indiana has essentially stiffed 1,400 families who have adopted special needs children. The subsidies they were promised to raise kids in the state’s foster child program have been denied, prompting one

    July 12, 2014

House Ads
Hendricks County Marquee
Email News Sign Up
Facebook
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
Poll

Are you worried about the violence in Ferguson, Mo., spreading across the country?

Yes
No
Not concerned one way or the other
     View Results
AP Video
US: We Do Not Pay Ransom to Terrorists Ferguson Teachers Training to Deal With Trauma Jon Hamm on the Unrest in Ferguson Tit for Tat? McDonald's Shuttered in Moscow Life on the Professional Video Game Circuit TX Gov Perry in Washington: 'Confident' in Case Hospital Releases Two Missionaries Who Had Ebola Ramen Health Risks: The Dark Side of the Noodle NYC Doctor-in-chief Seeks Community Approach Indonesian Police Fire Tear Gas at Protesters Raw: Shots Fired in Liberian Shantytown DOJ, Bank of America Reach Record Settlement Raw: Cubavision Airs Images of Fidel Castro Raw: Grief After Deadly Airstrikes in Gaza Officer Who Pointed Gun at Protesters Suspended Kathy Griffin Challenges Minaj to 'a Booty Off' Johnson: Six Arrests, No Tear Gas in Ferguson Raw: Rescue, Relief Efforts at Japan Landslide Cadavers, a Teen, and a Medical School Dream California Drought Stings Honeybees, Beekeepers
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Must Read