Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

December 24, 2013

Happy holidays from Kim Kardashian!

The sponsored Christmas card:

Dear Family, Friends and Followers,

I hope you are all having a festive and magical holiday season! As I sit here with a steaming cup of Starbuck’s Reserve Finca Nuevo from Mexico wrapped up in a cozy Restoration Hardware faux-fur arctic fox throw (and not much else!) on my Williams-Sonoma Beverly sofa with baby North, I am feeling so #blessed. And just to be clear, I did NOT wax her eyebrows, contrary to reports.

Thanks to my almost 19 million Twitter followers I can not only reach out to you this season, but pay for my winter vacation. Renting a private island is not cheap, you know. Isn’t America great? I mean where else would my advertising friends pay me to send holiday greetings? Or for that matter, where else would the media and sponsors pay $18 million for a $10 million wedding? But that is old news.

Kanye and I are having a wonderful end to a fabulous year. We just drove out to a Christmas tree farm with our bodyguards in our brand new matching Range Rovers and had said bodyguards chop down four trees while we frolicked in the farm with InTouch photographers and our nannies took care of baby North, dressed head to toe in Ralph Lauren cashmere. (FYI — a great gift — at least if you don’t have to clean the poop from it!) Make sure to check out the next issue! There are lots of great family shots!

BTW, it’s been a real shock to find out how expensive nannies are! And then you are supposed to pay them bonuses at Christmas, which I just learned. For people like us who work around the clock you can’t rely on just one, and then we have multiple homes, so it just makes sense to employ four so we have enough for play dates. But I hadn’t figured that in the budget. Maybe People can get one of them to do a tell all! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

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