By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Oct 30, 2012, 04:47 PM EDT
Dear Celebrities who somehow believe you make our lives worth living, even though most of you have no discernible talent ... I have a request.
Would you please stop making sex tapes? We'd all be grateful. And by "we" I mean every single American who fires up his computer, opens a newspaper, or leafs through a magazine only to find that another of you has been stupid enough to record for posterity your expertise in doing the horizontal mambo.
You would think that people in your line of work, whatever that is, would have this figured out by now: There is no such thing as privacy anymore.
You do something dumb (see above under What Were You Thinking?) and there is a 100 percent chance it is going to be out of your control in a matter of days. Once that happens, it will be on the web in a matter of minutes.
Once there, it is going to be around the world in seconds. And it's only a matter of time before it will be beamed to all the other planets in the solar system as well.
I realize that being a celebrity involves a certain amount of attention-seeking. No, strike that. It is 100 percent attention-seeking.
Which puts you in much the same pursuit as various persons I have seen prowling downtown streets at night looking, no doubt, for rides to visit their sick grandmothers.
Even so, the kind of attention you get from these tapes - Hulk Hogan being the latest, and possibly grossest, example - does not seem to be entirely positive.
Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, if indeed you can think, that people like me are just awful prudes. To which I say, maybe.
Then again, maybe not. Personally, I believe that sex is a lot of things, most of them ranging from good to spectacular, and I intend to try it again one of these days very soon.
July 30, 2014
July 12, 2014
July 10, 2014
July 7, 2014
June 19, 2014
June 11, 2014
June 7, 2014
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs Part V: The Big One
A group of Caltech researchers announced in Cell Thursday their success in making an entire organism transparent. Unfortunately, this isn't any kind of "Invisible Man" scenario: The organism in question is a mouse, and the mouse in question is quite dead.
July 31, 2014
© 2014 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. ·
CNHI Classified Advertising Network ·
CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2014. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require
you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Terms and Conditions
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN
8109 Kingston St., Suite 500