Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

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Commentary

October 19, 2012

The weather can be a pain

My sinuses were clear this morning. That's one of my many weather indicators: clear sinuses in the morning = low humidity and cool temps. Also, it means my daughters are out of school and were not up early congealing the air with several bottles of perfume.

I've found that in my forties, it has become easier and easier to predict the weather. Oddly, the more infirmed I become, the more alert my body is to atmospheric pressures that were nothing more than numbers on the morning news in the past.

I know I didn't feel it in my teens, twenties or even thirties. My girls are completely oblivious to weather, for example.

"It's 30 degrees," I say. "Put on a coat and take off the flip-flops."

I am met with blank stares.

"We don't, like, go to school outside, Mom," they say.

How could I possibly argue with logic like that?

I do have to admit that in my advancing age, I find that I'm addicted to the morning news, and especially the weather forecast. But it's funny to me how young all the weather forecasters are. How would they know what the weather is going to be? All they know is what the radar says and what they learned in weather school where they found out about the various types of clouds (also taught in the third grade) and how to engage in witty banter with the traffic guy. Also, how to insure that their hair is perfectly coifed in any weather.

I've discovered that you cannot predict the weather accurately until your body has aged to the point that most everything you do, from starting the car in the morning to having a regular bowel movement, is directly related to the weather. Weather forecasters on the news should all be at least over 45 in order to insure accuracy.

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