Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN

Commentary

September 12, 2012

Another epic breakthrough

(Continued)

My boxer briefs have never made snarky comments about my ability to cook on a grill. For that matter, I can't recall a time when my underwear tags made any kind of comment to me. And if they did, I don't think I'd be calling a basketball player for help. Not while there are psychiatrists on the planet.

What we have here, I think, is a solution to a made-up problem. People love to feel aggrieved, you know. In fact, there are lots of people who aren't happy unless they're miserable. They just don't always know what they're miserable about. This creates a perfect opportunity for a creative underwear company to swoop in and make a declaration about underwear tags, as if they were the root of all our suffering, and then offer a solution to a problem we didn't know we had.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe tagless underpants really are an innovation like Bell's phone, Edison's bulb, and Morse's telegraph. In that case, let me point out that all those things are obsolete. If tagless underwear follows the same pattern, it won't be long until it, too, disappears and we all go commando.

And no, I do not want to see a commercial for that.

© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.

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